BDSM and Role-Play Lead Survey of Common Sexual Interests
Therapists report that clients most frequently request guidance on power exchange, fantasy scenarios, and sensory control practices.
By Ibrahim Howard ·
BDSM is the most common sexual interest among clients of clinical sexologist Myisha Battle, according to an interview with HuffPost. Battle, author of the book This Is Supposed to Be Fun, stated that the majority of people asking about the practice have seen it in popular media and wish to replicate those scenes. She noted that many clients have only light experience with restraint or impact play and seek specific product recommendations, such as under-bed restraints or floggers.
Sex therapist Tom Murray, author of Making Nice With Naughty, described the rise of kink as a shift in cultural awareness. He pointed to the success of the Fifty Shades franchise as a marker of how the term has permeated public consciousness in the last decade. Murray explained that BDSM involves a range of activities, including power play and consensual pain, which require clear communication and often involve agreements outlined in advance.
Battle observed that clients often use role-play to navigate sexual confidence. She said some individuals want advice on how to initiate a scene, while others use the practice to become more vocal during intimacy. Murray added that role-play allows partners to explore personas that feel inaccessible in daily life. He cited authority figures, strangers, and historical fantasies as popular themes that reduce inhibitions.
Voyeurism and exhibitionism represent two related interests that Murray identified as common curiosities. He defined voyeurism as finding arousal in watching others and exhibitionism as the excitement of being watched. Murray reported seeing a growing trend of men enjoying watching their female partners have sex with other men. He explained that these activities often occur in consensual settings like clubs or private arrangements, challenging societal norms around privacy.
Orgasm control is another practice that generates client inquiries. Janet Brito, founder of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health, described the dynamic as one partner holding the other in an aroused state for a prolonged period. She explained that the partner in control often uses a practice known as edging to keep the receiver near the point of climax. Brito said the goal is to build intense anticipation and heightened sensations of delayed pleasure.
Brito noted that the build-up and eventual release in orgasm control can be powerful for both partners. She stated that the practice explores power dynamics, trust, and surrender. The physical sensations are accompanied by a psychological component that she described as a deliberate denial or delay of climax.
Battle also reported an increase in clients seeking validation for what she termed primal play. This category includes raw, instinctual behaviors such as wrestling, hair-pulling, growling, or biting. The website Kinkly defines these actions as the shedding of societal norms and inhibitions. Battle said many clients describe these dynamics as major turn-ons but lack the language to request them from partners.
By naming these behaviors, Battle helps clients identify a specific kink that falls under the general BDSM umbrella. She explained that having a defined term allows individuals to describe their preferences clearly on dating profiles. This validation confirms that their interests are shared by others in the community.
